The playoffs start this weekend, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are once again not invited. That won’t stop us from watching, though, and we can start predicting who will win the playoffs too. Let’s go to the predictions!

Wild card round

Titans at Chiefs

The Titans are probably the worst team in the playoffs, so they’re not going to win, regardless of how good the Chiefs are (not super, but not bad either).

Falcons at Rams

Rams win, because I want the Falcons to fall flat on their face. Also, the Rams finally got rid of Jeff Fisher, so now they’re allowed to win a playoff game.

Bills at Jaguars

I’d really like the Bills to get a win—they deserve to do something in the playoffs, finally, but the Jacksonville Jaguars have been the surprise of the season and a much better team, that’s also playing at home.

Panthers at Saints

Eh...can these two teams both go out? No. Well, then the Saints win. They’re better. That’s all there is to it.

Divisional Playoffs

Chiefs at Patriots

I like the Chiefs here. Hey, the Patriots offense may be dominant, but they’re defense is hot trash—and it’s been a while since Tom Brady suffered an embarrassing playoff exit. It’ll be fun.

Jaguars at Steelers

Let’s go Jaguars!

Saints at Eagles

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Carson Wentz is going to choke (‘cause he’s not playing, get it?). Drew Brees’ experience wins.

Rams at Vikings

Case Keenum is eh...a good....quarterback? I guess the Vikings winning will make the Bucs’ early-season loss less embarrassing, and also they’re the better team overall. So, they win.

Conference championships

Chiefs at Jaguars

The Jags are going to the Super Bowl!

Saints at Vikings

Vikings win, because I really don’t want the Saints to get to another Super Bowl. They were smug enough after the last one.

Super Bowl

Jaguars vs. Vikings

Jaguars get to win a Super Bowl. Finally. Every Florida NFL team will have a ring, then. Welcome to the club, Jacksonville!