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DLT's Deadlocks - NFL 2016 Week 1 Picks

The NFL is back and so is DLT! Will the Bucs win in Week one?

Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

Well folks, tonight the NFL kicks off for real as the defending Super Bowl Champion Denver Broncos take on the defending NFC Champion Carolina Panthers in the NFL's overhyped NFL kickoff spectacular.

Now, for those of you new to our site, I pick games a little differently. I poke fun at every team (including our bumbling band of motley pirates) and try to have fun with these picks.

Don't  bet your house on them. Don't expect to get rich quick on my football prognostication skills. Drink responsibly.

I will say though last year I didn't do so bad at throwing Saints on the wall and seeing if it sticks, hitting in at the 60% range (better than Aguayo) and that would have placed me higher than many NFL "experts". Unlike many of them, I actually pick an upset every week (which likely brought my average down a little further).

Alright, let's get this wagon train going!

Last Week: 0-0 100% Upset Specials: 0-0 100%

Final Regular Season Record:155-101 60% Upset Specials: 16-24 53%

Thursday

Panthers 27, Broncos 13 - I don't expect either one of these teams to get close to the Super Bowl LI but the Broncos may not even make the playoffs with Trevor Siemian (who?) as QB. Then again, I was the guy who said the Patriots were doomed when Bledsoe went down and some guy named Brady took over as QB.

Sunday

Upset Special #1: Buccaneers 23, Falcons 17 - Last year, I picked the Bucs to win their season opener. Let's hope this week turns out a little better than last year.

Vikings 16, Titans 13 - A few weeks ago this would have been a no-brainer. Now its a...brainer?

Upset Special #2: Browns 23, Eagles 16 - Yes, Crazy DLT is back...picking the Cleveland Browns - yes the Cleveland Browns to win a road game in Philly. Now, this wouldn't have happened had the Eagles not traded away Sam Bradford and started green rookie QB Carson Wentz but they did so I'm rolling with the newly revitalized RG3.

Bengals 23, Jets 16 - Hey, Cincy wins regular season games!

Raiders 34, Saints 20 - Oakland is everyone's off-season darling, they have to prove it. Saints are who we thought that are...were? I'm so confused. Denny Green, we miss you.

Chiefs 20, Chargers 16 - Tough place to start for the San Diego/Sacramento/Las Vegas/Saskatchewan Chargers.

Ravens 23, Bills 17 - B-more has everyone healthy (for now). Buffalo has everyone suspended.

Texans 30, Bears 13 - Will Watt play? Won't Watt play? Will it even matter? Nope.

Packers 23, Jaguars 20 - I really like the Jags this year. Not enough to pick them over Green Bay...but I do like them.

Seahawks 40, Dolphins 10 - Yeah, no.

Giants 24, Cowboys 16 - Dak won't be the problem for Dallas, the horrid defense will.

Colts 23, Lions 13 - This week's who gives a frak game of the week goes to...

Sunday Night

Cardinals 27, Patriots 20 - Yes...all part of my master plan for the Bucs. The Cards will be riding high from their home win over the deflated Pats and overlook the little band of bumbling Buccaneers from Tampa Bay in Week 2. Yes....muh hahaha.

Monday Night

Steelers 23, Washington NFL Franchise 13 - I don't like that.

Rams 27, 49ers 13 - The NFL returns to LA...or San Francisco this week, but LA next week for sure.