It's finally here. After a month of mindnumbly bad pre-season football, we're ready for the real thing, baby, uh-huh. Of course, it means it's time for season predictions.
We know for a fact not all the teams who made the playoffs last season will return this year. The NFL is a churning washing machine of change, cleaning out the one-year wonders, hobbling true contenders with injuries and bringing in the new meat to keep these things interesting. Who is the new playoff meat is always the question of the day.
We, as propietors of pigskin prognostication, try to peek into our crystal balls and see into the future.
But old man NFL, he's a tough s.o.b. Who would've predicted the Cowboys going from 12-4 to 4-12? Or the Washington Franchise starting the season at 2-4 before "You Like That" propelled them to an unlikely division championship?
Or the Rams remaining at 7-9...okay, not the last one. That's pretty easy to predict. I suppose what I'm trying to say is these will mostly be wrong. They always are. Let's make no illusion that won't be.
I'm wrong. You're probably wrong. Somewhere in the middle, the truth will find its way out.
So, for fun, let's do this.
Giants 9-7 - The gmen seemed to be the least flawed in this division. They spent oodles of money buying a new defense and they still have an upright starting QB.
Cowboys 8-8 - Its not that I don't believe in Dak. I think its more that I don't believe in the rest of the over-hyped Cowboys.
Washington 6-10 - I don't lik that.
Packers 13-3 - Rodgers...hey Rodgers...
Vikings 7-9 - Sam Bradford has to be the only mediocre QB in NFL history to have multiple high draft picks (3 first rounders) and tens of millions of dollars spent on him. I just don't get it.
Lions 6-10 - The old lady will be coming for heads again.
Bears 3-13 - The Bears replaced Lovie's replacement with another Lovie.
Panthers 11-5 - No they won't be as good, but they'll still be better than everyone else in the division.
Buccaneers 10-6 - Yes, I know. Absolutely a homer pick. No denying it. If I'm gonna be wrong, why not be wrong positively?
Falcons 8-8 - Falcs defense will be their downfall.
Saints 6-10 - See Falcons.
Cardinals 13-3 - Cards may be the cream of the NFC crop.
Rams 8-8 - Jeff Fisher gets his wish. The Scams are better than 7-9.
49ers 4-12 - Another ugly year for a once proud franchise.
Patriots 11-5 - Come on, its been this way for over a decade now.
Bills 10-6 - I think Buffalo finally breaks through
Dolphins 8-8 - Miko is right.
Jets 7-9 - Unfortunately Fitz can't catch lightning in a bottle two years in arow.
Bengals 12-4 - Best regular season team in NFL history. Or not.
Steelers 10-6 - Mike Tomlin does this stuff with smoke and mirrors.
Ravens 8-8 - Relying on injured players coming back to form rarely works out.
Browns 6-10 - Better than expected, still terrible.
Jaguars 11-5 - That's right, I'm going all in with the Jags!
Texans 9-7 - Watt is breaking down and I'll believe in Brock when I see it.
Titans 7-9 - They start off hot until Mariota has his yearly season ending injury (ooh this one's gonna get the Mariota Mob in a tizzy). It's a joke, sheeple.
Colts 6-10 - Whispers of Luck being overrated suddenly get a little louder.
Raiders 10-6 - This is finally the year the Raiders break through. Its good because that Committment to Excrement just wasn't working (and was a little smelly).
Chiefs 9-7 - Injuries derailing the Chiefs good chances.
Broncos 8-8 - Yes, the Broncos had a good defense last year...and they all got paid, fat and happy. Then the hall of fame QB retired and the heir apparent got in a fit and moved on....
Chargers 6-10 - Will they stay? Will they go? Will anyone care?
Superb Owl Prediction
Cardinals over the Patriots
Okay, so have it. Tell me how wrong I am (because I am) and how right your picks are (they're not).
Most of all, enjoy football this Sunday friends! We're back!