clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

DLT's Crazy (And Largely Inaccurate) 2016 NFL Predictions

2016 Predictions with a dose of reality and humor.

Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

It's finally here. After a month of mindnumbly bad pre-season football, we're ready for the real thing, baby, uh-huh. Of course, it means it's time for season predictions.

We know for a fact not all the teams who made the playoffs last season will return this year. The NFL is a churning washing machine of change, cleaning out the one-year wonders, hobbling true contenders with injuries and bringing in the new meat to keep these things interesting. Who is the new playoff meat is always the question of the day.

We, as propietors of pigskin prognostication, try to peek into our crystal balls and see into the future.

But old man NFL, he's a tough s.o.b. Who would've predicted the Cowboys going from 12-4 to 4-12? Or the Washington Franchise starting the season at 2-4 before "You Like That" propelled them to an unlikely division championship?

Or the Rams remaining at 7-9...okay, not the last one. That's pretty easy to predict. I suppose what I'm trying to say is these will mostly be wrong. They always are. Let's make no illusion that won't be.

I'm wrong. You're probably wrong. Somewhere in the middle, the truth will find its way out.

So, for fun, let's do this.


Giants 9-7 - The gmen seemed to be the least flawed in this division. They spent oodles of money buying a new defense and they still have an upright starting QB.

Cowboys 8-8 - Its not that I don't believe in Dak. I think its more that I don't believe in the rest of the over-hyped Cowboys.

Washington 6-10 - I don't lik that.

Eagles 4-12 - I think Philly knew this was going to be a "building year" and the Vikings panic mode provided them the perfect out.

NFC North

Packers 13-3 - Rodgers...hey Rodgers...

Vikings 7-9 - Sam Bradford has to be the only mediocre QB in NFL history to have multiple high draft picks (3 first rounders) and tens of millions of dollars spent on him. I just don't get it.

Lions 6-10 - The old lady will be coming for heads again.

Bears 3-13 - The Bears replaced Lovie's replacement with another Lovie.

NFC South

Panthers 11-5 - No they won't be as good, but they'll still be better than everyone else in the division.

Buccaneers 10-6 - Yes, I know. Absolutely a homer pick. No denying it. If I'm gonna be wrong, why not be wrong positively?

Falcons 8-8 - Falcs defense will be their downfall.

Saints 6-10 - See Falcons.

NFC West

Cardinals 13-3 - Cards may be the cream of the NFC crop.

Seahawks 10-6 - I don't know what to make of the Seahawks. They should be a Patriots-like dominant team, but they're not.

Rams 8-8 - Jeff Fisher gets his wish. The Scams are better than 7-9.

49ers 4-12 - Another ugly year for a once proud franchise.

AFC East

Patriots 11-5 - Come on, its been this way for over a decade now.

Bills 10-6 - I think Buffalo finally breaks through

Dolphins 8-8 - Miko is right.

Jets 7-9 - Unfortunately Fitz can't catch lightning in a bottle two years in arow.

AFC North

Bengals 12-4 - Best regular season team in NFL history. Or not.

Steelers 10-6 - Mike Tomlin does this stuff with smoke and mirrors.

Ravens 8-8 - Relying on injured players coming back to form rarely works out.

Browns 6-10 - Better than expected, still terrible.

AFC South

Jaguars 11-5 - That's right, I'm going all in with the Jags!

Texans 9-7 - Watt is breaking down and I'll believe in Brock when I see it.

Titans 7-9 - They start off hot until Mariota has his yearly season ending injury (ooh this one's gonna get the Mariota Mob in a tizzy). It's a joke, sheeple.

Colts 6-10 - Whispers of Luck being overrated suddenly get a little louder.

AFC West

Raiders 10-6 - This is finally the year the Raiders break through. Its good because that Committment to Excrement just wasn't working (and was a little smelly).

Chiefs 9-7 - Injuries derailing the Chiefs good chances.

Broncos 8-8 - Yes, the Broncos had a good defense last year...and they all got paid, fat and happy. Then the hall of fame QB retired and the heir apparent got in a fit and moved on....

Chargers 6-10 - Will they stay? Will they go? Will anyone care?

Superb Owl Prediction

Cardinals over the Patriots

Okay, so have it. Tell me how wrong I am (because I am) and how right your picks are (they're not).

Most of all, enjoy football this Sunday friends! We're back!