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Greetings True Believers, it is I, Doctor Mysterio! Sander has replaced DLT for his horrible job at picking NFL games, so I have agreed to defend truth justice and the American way of pigskin prognostication.
Last week DLT was a horrid 6-8 (0-1 in his upset specials). His nemesis, Accuracy, has been elusive - but fear not, we will catch that dastardly doer!
Last Week: 6-8 43% Upset Specials: 0-1 0%
Season: 42-35 54% Upset Specials: 5-6 45%
Bye: Vikings, Buccaneers
Thursday Night
Broncos 23, Chargers 20 - With Trevor Simeian back, the champions will right the ship after their shocking loss to Atlanta. Did you know Denver hasn't lost a road divisional game since 2010? That's just crazy.
Sunday
Bills 23, 49ers 10 - Colin Kaepernick is 3-10 is his last 13 starts. Sorry Chip, when you say "He's all that's left," it's not a ringing endorsement of your QB.
Eagles 24, Washington NFL Franchise 17 - Doctor Mysterio's vision into the future is a little murky on this one, but we will go with the young QB.
Titans 23, Browns 20 - This could be a good spot for a Browns victory...but its the Browns, so no.
Upset Special #1: Ravens 23, Giants 17 - I fought Giants once...they fell hard.
Upset Special #2: Saints 35, Panthers 30 - Drew Brees at home in the dome vs that secondary on short week? Yeah.
Bears 20, Jaguars 16 - DLT would have probably picked the Jags here - good thing Doctor Mysterio is here to save the day.
Lions 23, Rams 17 - This gets the Rams back to .500 where they belong.
Steelers 30, Dolphins 10 - Even DLT could get this one right. Sorry, mockery is not Doctor Mysterio's way.
Patriots 34, Bengals 10 - My fellow superhero, Tom Brady, will continue to make his nemesis RogGod, look bad.
Upset Special #3: Chiefs 30, Raiders 24 - Oakland's luck runs out.
Seahawks 23, Falcons 17 - Show us one more time, Atlanta.
Packers 30, Cowboys 14 - If Dallas wins this one, Tony Romo may get Bledsoe'd. POW! CRACK! ZOINKS!
Sunday Night
Texans 26, Colts 20 - By Andrew's Beard, the Colts are terrible this year!
Monday Night
Cardinals 23, Jets 20 - And ESPN thought last week's ratings were bad?