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DLT's Deadlocks - 2015 NFL Week 1 Picks

DLT's Pigskin Prognostication Prowess Returns Once again

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

We're baaaaaack! Are you ready for some football Buccaneers fans? Well, of course you are or why the heck would you be here? While our beloved band of bumbling pewter clad privateers embark on another season on Sunday, the league's defending champion, the New England Belicheats host the Pittsburgh Steelers on Thursday Night football to kick off the season.

I could care less about either team but frak it man, its football!

With that said, I'm back too - to give my amazing prowess of pigskin prognostication. Or look like a complete ass. Maybe a little of  both (but more the latter).

If you're new here, I kinda like to throw a little of my awful humor in description of my picks. Its not meant to offend (well, except for maybe Panthers, Falcons or Saints fans - screw you guys) its really all in having fun. I never really take my picks all that seriously so if you're basing your gambling addiction on what DLT has to say well....good luck with that.

Somehow I drunkenly stumbled into 61% accuracy and even 31% in my ridiculous upset specials.

Have a great 2015 everyone!

Last Season: 157-99 61%   Upset Specials: 10-22 31%

Thursday Night

Patriots 40, Steelers 20 - Its rare for the champ to lose their first game at home and after DeflatedBallsGate, Mr. Brady is a little PO'd.

Sunday

Dolphins 30, Washington 10 - The Mammals get a nice sacrificial lamb to open up 2015. What's the over and under of Jay Gruden joining his brother as part of the FFCA?

Colts 20, Bills 13 - This one was a little tougher than most years. Yes, its the Bills and yes they usually suck. But this Bills team has Rex Ryan as coach and is coming off a pretty decent year. Then again, Sexy Rexy didn't help the J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! All that much.

Browns 20, Jets 3 - Speaking of the crashed planes, the legend of Josh McCown grows.

Upset Special #1 Chiefs 23, Texans 13 - Yes it was fun to watch JJ Watt on Hard Knocks. No it wasn't fun to watch Houston's QB "competition".

Panthers 20, Jaguars 3 - Cat fight! If only the Jags didn't come in declawed.

Seahawks 26, Rams 13 - Los Angeles St. Louis is ready to challenge the Seahags? In the immortal words of Lana Kane (Archer), NOOOOOOPE.

Lana

NOOOOPE

Packers 42, Bears 10 - DA BEARS are DA SUCK.

Chargers 23, Lions 13 - I think the Los Angeles San Diego Chargers may surprise some folks this season. And its the Lions on the west coast.

Cardinals 30, Saints 20 - No one talks about the Cardinals yet all they do is win.

Upset Special #2 - Ravens 26, Broncos 20 - Peyton Manning may wish his fairwell tour was last year. Fear not, Bronco fans, I heard Timmy Tebow is available.

Bengals 23, Raiders 20 - The San Antonio Oakland Raiders could possibly win this game. But they're still the Raiders so they won't.

Buccaneers 20, Titans 10 - Last season the Yucs were 0-8 at home while the Flaming Thumbtacks were 1-7 on the road. Many have boarded the Marcus Mariota hype train after his 27 pass pre-season but I just have a sneaky feeling that everyone will be jumping off to the good ship Jameis because they'll be some Sieging going on at the Pirate Ship.

Sunday Night

Cowboys 17, Giants 10 - Dallas is scrambling to find a replacement for Demarco Murray. Good thing they play the fingerless G-men.

Monday Night

Eagles 40, Falcons 20 - The Flukins are everyone's trendy pick for the NFC South. Sure, they have Matt, Julio and Roddy. They also have no running game, no offensive line, no pass rush (Sorry ATL, Adrian Clayborn isn't the second coming of JPP) and while new head coach Dan Quinn may eventually improve the team, Monday Night is not that night.

Vikings 20, 49ers 10 - When you gut your team, bad stuff happens. Bucs fans have seen this before, Niner fans. We call it the Raheem Dream years. (Or maybe that was a nightmare).

Happy footballoliday everyone!