Game of Thrones season 4 begins on Sunday. I can't wait -- so I decided to have a little fun with it. What if the Bucs were Game of Thrones characters? Who would they be?
Yes Zirr! pic.twitter.com/CYWNhgQjIB— Warren Sapp (@WarrenSapp) April 6, 2014
Oh, and obviously, SPOILER ALERT.
Gerald McCoy - Daenerys Targaryen
Suffered some unfortunate setbacks early in their respective careers (injury vs. brutal murder of entire family except for her abusive older brother, subsequently married off to rapist faux-mongols--you know what, just watch the show), but both turned into the undisputed leaders of their teams, turning strong potential into real power and consistent, extremely high-level performance. McCoy doesn't have dragons, though.
Lovie Smith - Tywin Lannister
Recently returned to the seat of power, this veteran is one of the wiliest and best leaders in the business. Despite not officially holding all of the power, Tywin/Lovie is clearly the one who calls all the shots. Years of experience give him a decided advantage, and this is not the first time he's been this close to power.
Lavonte David - Tyrion Lannister
Undersized, but smart and fast, he wreaks havoc wherever he goes. His small frame hinders him at times and leads to some preconceived notions about his quality, but he continues to prove that he's as good as it gets. Also seems remarkably resilient, despite the frequent demise of people surrounding him.
Mike Williams - Jon Snow
People generally like him and he's shown potential, but he keeps faffing about and despite some heroic moments, seems to get into trouble with alarming regularity for a variety of reasons. Still, some hope he can turn into a true hero -- or at least not get himself killed, like everyone else.
Mike Glennon - Robb Stark
Quickly anointed as the new leader after rumors (and evidence) of the previous leader's problems emerged, he had surprising and swift success. Youthful and not without his faults, he nonetheless showed good potential. Swift changes in power led to his ugly, ugly demise.
Michael Johnson - Daario Naharis
Young, strong and powerful, he's only recently come to Daenerys'/McCoy's side. He claims it's because he's a great fit for the team, but a not unsubstantial amount of money was involved, too. Brought some of his friends with him.
Da'Quan Bowers - Arya Stark
Shows considerable potential, but somehow can never seem to get in on the action. Still a fan-favorite, Bowers/Stark has to cash in on that potential and somehow find a way to get on the field/not stuck as a servant everywhere (s)he goes.
Vincent Jackson - Barristan Selmy
Probably the oldest guy around, but has a long track record of success. May be declining in age, and got screwed over in his previous job by his long-term employer. Now with McCoy/Daenerys, he's done a fine job recently.
Demar Dotson - Bronn
Efficient veteran who is quietly very good at his job. Despite only recently appearing on the grand stage, he's already relatively advanced in age. Has no problems taking on quality adversaries.
Mike Greenberg - Petyr Baelish
Obsessed with money, he's never far removed from the throne, but hasn't quite managed to take the final few steps necessary to take true control (it's not clear whether he even wants to). Mostly handles financial deals, rather than dabbling in the realms of power. The secret power behind the realm?
Mark Barron - Brienne
Doesn't look like the traditional professional, but does the job very well regardless. Not nearly as limited as people may think at first glance.
Carl Nicks - The Hound
Huge. Strong. Powerful. Quiet. Dominant at his job, but has one flaw that has kept him off the field for quite some time, and questions abound as to his eventual return.
Nope, sorry, not doing that one. No no no no.
Buccaneers fans - Sansa Stark
At one point, Sansa Stark thought she was the luckiest girl in the world, betrothed to a king and set to be queen of all of Westeros. For Bucs fans, that was 2002. Since then, nothing good has happened to them -- but there's always some hope.
BONUS HISTORICAL COMPARISONS
Hugh Culverhouse - Aerys II Targaryen "The Mad King"
Drove his kingdom into the ground with his madness and paranoia (and also, cheapness). Would not listen to his closest advisors, and threatened to burn the whole thing down in his later years (okay, Culverhouse never did this. I think).
Jon Gruden - Robert Baratheon
The energetic king who got axed despite a pretty competent reign, and some spectacular success early on in his career. Some poor decisions in personnel eventually led to the end of his tenure. His brother subsequently turned into a swiftly rising star with some royal aspirations of his own, though he too has to deal with some..unfortunate choices in the company he keeps (yes, I'm saying Dan Snyder is Melisandre).
Ronde Barber - Eddard Stark
A strong presence for years on end, but took on a new assignment late in life. He performed it with honor, but it led to some struggles under new leadership, and he did not last long when power changed hands.
Is there anyone you'd add to this list?