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DLT's Deadlocks - NFL Picks Week 8 2014

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After a horrible week, Sander has replaced DLT with a manatee.

Ben Hoskins

Hi, I'm the Masked Manatee. Sander has replaced DLT with me this week after he spit the bed last week with an 8-7 record. I may not be human but I at least had the sense not to pick Houston to beat Pittsburgh at home on Monday Night Football.

Anywho, here is DLT's record.

Last Week: 8-7 53%  Upset Specials: 0-2 0%

Season: 65-41 61%  Upset Specials: 5-9 35%

Bye Week: Giants, 49ers

Thursday Night

Broncos 35, Chargers 28 - My trainer has me pick games by placing my favorite lettuce and sea grasses next to a logo of a team. The turtle grass of the Broncos tastes a lot better in this one.

Sunday

Lions 24, Falcons 16 - You're probably wondering how I'm typing this, considering I have no fingers, thumbs, a large brain or other science facts. Just remember it's just an article, you should really just relax. Oh and Falcons, even manatees know London isn't in Spain.

Chiefs 24, Rams 13 - Two teams that came off upset wins. You know what gets me upset? Human males in bannana hammocks. What gives with that? No one wants to see that. NO ONE.

Texans 30, Titans 20 - Tennessee is apparently starting a Mettenberger. His name sounds like something my trainer would never put in my plankton bucket. I'm a vegetarian after all.

Buccaneers 20, Vikings 17 - DLT here, I've escaped in time to make this pick! Minnesota hasn't won in Tampa in 17 years and with the Bucs coming off the bye I think the Bucs are due to put together a good performance at home. Oh crap, Ranger Rick and Sander - gotta run guys!

Seahawks 30, Panthers 20 - Apologies for that very rude interruption. Now back to my picks. I'm not exactly sure what a Seahawk is, but as a sea creature I look for solidarity.

Ravens 23, Bengals 16 - Two teams heading in opposite directions. I usually head in the opposite direction of a motor boat. Please becareful with your boat through waters we frequent. It can really hurt.

Upset Special: Jaguars 20, Dolphins 17 - Dolphins are dicks. Fact.

Patriots 27, Bears 16 - I once had a Bear jump into a river to try and attack me. It didn't work out well for the Bear. i swim a bit faster than he does.

Bills 23, Jets 17 - I don't know anything about Bills or Jets...but I heard something about circled wagons in Buffalo. That sounds promising.

Cardinals 27, Eagles 17 - I've never been a big fan of birds. They don't bug me much but I hate when I'm up eating my sea grass and they just poop on my back. I'm like, really? The whole river and that's where you have to drop a duece?

Browns 27, Raiders 17 - I've seen Brown fish, they're usually pretty nice. Raiders don't sound nice at all.

Colts 27, Steelers 17 - Even manatees know Andrew Luck rules.

Sunday Night

Packers 24, Saints 17 - Saints sound nice, but Green Bay is a better football team.

Monday Night

Cowboys 30, Washington 20 - Even manatees think Washington's team name is racist.