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Gerald McCoy the Robocop

Which player would you turn into a robot, if you could? Me, I'd go with Gerald McCoy.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

The Robocop reboot is coming. And Robocop wants me to talk about which Buccaneers player I would like to see turned into (part-)robot. That's a pretty tough choice. There's no sure franchise quarterback to turn into a robot so he won't get injured, or decline. Offensive linemen seem like a bit of a waste. Doug Martin is very good and I gave some consideration to turning him into a 400-carry-per-year robot. But no, I'm going with Gerald McCoy instead.

Who do you make a robot, then? I'm going to go with Gerald McCoy. Having a dominant three-technique is incredibly important to any 4-3 defense, and McCoy is about as dominant as they get. But McCoy has had one issue in his four years in the NFL: injuries. He ended both of his first two seasons ended on injured reserve with torn triceps, although he's remained injury-free since then.

Besides, imagine how much better robot Gerald McCoy will be. He'll get to play every single snap. He'll hit like, literally, a ton of metal. His hand-fighting will break opponent's arms and hands (sorry about that, guys, but that's the cost of doing business). Oh, not to mention the added power he'll get from having metal robot legs. What's not to like?

So yeah, that's my vote: Gerald McCoy gets to be a robot and demolish some more offensive guards. Let's go!