NFL Week 9 Picks - DLT's Deadlocks

Eureka! I'm still here...at least for another week. Truth be told, my position of pigskin prognosticator is more tenuous than Andy Reid in Philly or Norv Turner in San Diego. Cleveland, Norv? You couldn't beat Cleveland?

With that said, I "improved" from the car wreck that was my 3-10 week to an equally disappointing 7-7 this week. I originally was elated to believe I was actually over the mendoza line at 8-6....then I remembered the Chargers actually LOST to Cleveland. Bah!

By the way, since this is the last picks segment before the election for President of the United States - I'm picking Romney to win....which of course means we get to enjoy four more years of Obama.

By the way, my pick doesn't necessarily reflect where my political leanings lay and shouldn't constitute an endorsement of either candidate by myself or this site. That's for other sites - not here. I'm JC De La Torre and I approve this message.

Since we, as a nation, do have a big decision coming up - I thought it would be fun to come up with some political slogans for each game.

Let's give it a try.

Picture my face on one of those Change or Hope Obama posters with the word SUCK underneath it.

There you go!

Speaking of suck - here's my numbers for last week and the season:

Last Week: 7-7 50% (0 for 1 on the upset special)

Season: 60-58 51% Upset Specials: 5-10 33%

On the Couch: Patriots, Jets, 49ers, Rams

Thursday Night

Chargers 32, Chiefs 6 - Are you better off now than you were last season? Chiefs - absolutely not - at least Todd Haley's teams LED in a game. Chargers? Meh. Its the same every year for this bunch, isn't it? Season begins with Super Bowl and best in the AFC talk and ends with utter disappointment for San Diego fans.

Sunday

Packers 30, Cardinals 20 - Who do you trust? The Cards ran off a bunch of victories at the end of last season and the beginning of this season but are coming back to earth. Green Bay has underachieved. I'm going with the Meat Packers at Lameblow Field.

Lions 27, Jaguars 10 - Little Hope and Not Much Change. The Lions look to continue resuscitating their season and the Jags are as bad as they ever have been.

Bears 23, Titans 13 - Chicago Politics at its best. The game will be rigged - not because of politics but because the Flaming Thumbtacks are terrible.

Broncos 15, Bengals 9 - We Shall Overcome. As in the Broncos will overcome their Sunday Night let down to squeak by the Bungels.

Redskins 23, Panthers 13 - Trickle Down. As in the old Cam's fame and popularity has trickled down to the new Cam, RG III. By the way, in 18 of the last 19 elections, if the Redskins win their last home game before the election, the incumbent party stays in office. If they lose, the challenger wins. So Obama fans are Skins fans this week, the Romney supporters are Panther fans. The only time it didn't happen was in 2004, when the Redskins lost but incumbent George W. Bush held on to beat challenger John Kerry. I guess since I predicted a Romney win earlier I should go with the Panthers here. Nah...its the Panthers and who am I to go against a 94.7% predictor?

Ravens 36, Browns 13 - Sketchy Math. The Ravens have taken a lot of hits on defense but Joe Flacco is solid and they should trounce Cleveland - who got their upset this season.

Colts 23, Dolphins 16 - Change we can believe in. Both of these teams have done surprisingly well this season. No one believed the Colts would even be somewhat competitive in Indy and with the sideshow that was Hard Knocks, I don't think a single soul believed that the Dolphins would even be okay.

Texans 23, Buffalo 13 - Yes they Can! Beat the hell out of the Buffalo Bills.

Seahawks 23, Vikings 13 - In your heart, you know he's right. As in you know the Vikings won't be able to overcome the 12th man in Seattle.

Raiders 20, Buccaneers 17 - Let's Make it Great Again! So lets see, the Bucs have lost both their pro bowl guards, their 2011 first round pick in Clayborn and they're headed to the west coast for a season defining game against a squad that's won two straight.

Giants 23, Steelers 13 - Strength and Experience for Victory! The Giants are the defending champs while the Steelers are not what they were.

Sunday Night

Upset Special: Cowboys 26, Falcons 13 - Read my lips! As in the Falcons are not what they what they seem. Cowboys need this one more.

Monday Night

Saints 34, Eagles 23 - Hoo we trusted, now we're busted. Neither the Saints or Eagles were what we expected.