Observations of the "I Didn't Even Need to Watch the Second Half To Know We'd Lose" Bucs/Rams 12/22/13 Washout (with poll)

1) It's the time of the year that shopping overwhelms football watching, when the need to get a better Auburn Championship Game t-shirt for your mom is a higher priority than seeing just how badly our poorly-coached Bucs team gets stomped on. Still, since lunch is a necessity in my life, and the Hooters on S. Florida Ave has the tv sets for it, I went out to watch at least the first half of the game vs. the Rams, and then planned on keeping up with the second half via the radio broadcast.

1a) Is it enough to note that somehow during the second half of the game that every time Glennon dropped back to throw you could HEAR the air deflate from the Offensive Line's tires with each attempt?

1b) It wasn't my car tires, Thank God. That was last week, but still...

1c) It was the kind of day that makes a man wish he could look at cheerleaders dressed in cute Santa-Elves' outfits to lift the spirits during such bleak days.



...that's too small. Lemme find another...

2) The score ended up being exactly what I suggested it'd be on an pre-game thread, 23-13, with it being a butt-stomping as well. I was only off by thinking the Rams would score 10 points instead of the 6 they did score.

This was just not a good game for the Bucs. The statistics I'll get into later, but the one thing I did note that wouldn't show up on the regular stats was just simply the sloppy defensive tackling (or lack thereof). There were times Lavonte David didn't even show up on the radar, which was scary.

2a) If there were any bright spots, there were the usual suspects of Gerald McCoy getting a sack and being a beast for most of the game, David showing up by the Second Quarter to help out with fumble recoveries and 11 tackles, and Mason Foster showing some incredible sideline-to-sideline speed to tackle a RB from behind a force the fumble that David scooped up.

3) Hold on, here's a photo, let's try this...


Norie (via jackson1245)

There... SLIGHTLY better.

4) Statistics of the game: The Bucs offense generated roughly 170 yards total. 170 YARDS. The regression of this offense has been horrific, as Glennon is having trouble finding time to throw, finding reliable targets to throw to, and forcing too many tries at Vincent Jackson.

4a) Sacks given up: SEVEN. While DE Robert Quinn is a beast, it's embarrassing to let anyone get a sack hat-trick on you. Our offensive line is officially broken: Penn has lost both steps and any blocking skill, our guards can't open running lanes up the middle that our offensive coordinator KEEPS WANTING TO CALL, and we're facing the dire fact that once-promising G Davin Joseph (he DID make a Pro Bowl or two) has become a contract-resigning bust.

4b) The Bucs were able to temper the penalties woes, racking up only three all game, but all this tells us is that we can't blame penalties for killing most of our offensive or defensive drives. The playcalling by the coaches and weak effort by most of the players did all that on their own.

5) In other NFL news: Carolina Panthers clinced a playoff spot beating out New Orleans in what looked like a hard-hitting game. The Panthers don't have a clinch on the division itself, meaning the Saints are DESPERATE to secure a win in the last game of the season to not only clinch a wild-card but stay in contention for the division win and the bye week (and at least one home game). This means whoever plays the Saints... uh, hi Bucs... are gonna get the First-Stringers for 90 percent of the game (until they're certainly up by 5 TDs and able to let the benchwarmers get some work in).

5a) You wanna know why the St. Louis Rams might be the scariest team next season? They've got a decent defense now, they're a few pieces away from a decent offense next year... and they're sitting on Washington's First Rounder pick which gives them a Top-3 Draft Pick no matter what at this point (maybe even top-overall if it keeps going their way). That just ain't fair.

5b) Just when you think Miami's turned a corner... they get shut out. By a Bills team even the Bucs could beat.

5c) Peyton Manning has the season TD passing record, he's close to the total passing yards record, and he also stomped his feet through Matt Schaub's flower garden for good measure.

5d) One way or another, an NFC North or an NFC East team will get to 9 wins. Unless, of course, Philly and Chicago decide to play to a tie.

5e) Reason why neither New Orleans nor San Francisco have clinched a wild-card: Arizona is sitting there at 9 wins. Maybe if they lose this afternoon, maybe we'll see either or both clinch. I'm not sure what the numbers are though.

6) In college football news: they have too many godd-mn bowl games. Why the eff should we care about a 7-5 team playing a 6-6 team? THERE'S TOO MANY TEAMS IN POSTSEASON AND NOT A LARGE ENOUGH PLAYOFF SYSTEM.

7) In hockey news, Lightning have been taking it to too many overtimes, thank God they've won more of those than lost (I think). But this is pretty bad: I'd thought our defense and goalies were getting better.

8) In Twitter news: never tweet a degrading "haha" about AIDS, an entire continent, and ill-perceived white privilege before boarding a plane and expect to own a job or public respect by the time the flight lands.

8a) And this was someone who worked in PR, for GOD'S SAKE. /headdesk

9) In Saturnalia news, there are no Vestal Virgins to hang out with anymore during the Solstice. DAMN YOU FOX NEWS AND YOUR WAR ON SATURNALIA.

10) Next up: Flying out to New Orleans to play a hungry, OH CRAP Saints team. Will we be tweeting #HasSchianoLandedYet the way we tweeted about Justine?



Also, MacBeth failed to maintain possession during the Fifth Act. (inter-thread gag from the First Quarter. It makes sense in context)

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