NSFW Cataclysm: Week 1 - Panthers Edition

The weekly Cataclysm is an attempt at capturing the meltdown of fans via message boards as their team's chances at victory crumble before their eyes. This week, the Carolina Panthers are on the hot seat. Please sit back and enjoy as they blame everyone including Ron Rivera, Cam Newton, replacement referees, and Barack Obama for their team's demise. ...and remember, the Cataclysm is never SFW. WARNING: Extremely Strong Language.

I have to start with the enthusiasm of one Carolina fan's post voicing his optimism of the new season before the kickoff against the Tampa Bay Bucs. It all goes downhill rather quickly shortly after. LULZ!!!

This is better than christmas as a kid. Has to be the most anticipated season in franchise history.

Panthers using CMPD strategy. Let the opposition go where they want. Eventually they'll get tired and give up.

The Panthers need to send the plane back to Charlotte and pick up the O-line. Newton is running for his life

Another lollypop interception thrown by Cam Newton, I got a feeling he will come back to Earth this season.

Game has been temporarily suspended due to lightning. God's not happy Carolina's making Josh Freeman look like Joe Montana.

The one thing that I truly love breaks my heart once again.... the Panthers :(

Ok now it's time to panic. Just dominated at the line of scrimmage on both sides.

Cam Newton has looked like what I expected to see from Josh Freeman, and vice versa. Hurts to say that.

Can't get the run game started for poo

welp our D is still a disaster...

Our defense fucking SUCKS!!!!!!!

Newsflash: Defense still sucks

Defense is garbage. That pretty much sums it up.

call a freaking holding. oh. my. god.

Smh Can we make a refund on Peppers?

ill give mcdermott 3 games .. then get the fuck out xD

replacement officials seriously don't know what holding looks like

Freeman flawless.. Ok, chud needs to drop his Jeff Davidson impression and open up the playbook.

It was a close game back on Christmas eve till half time, not worried.

my major concern: the first drive by Josh Montana and Tampa. The D looked confused out of postion.
And Charles Godfrey is still a goat.

Defense...give the O a chance. Don't get us out of rhythm because you can't make a single goddamn play on a drive.

For the love of God no more draws to Williams

did Chud draw these plays up on a napkin at breakfast this morning?

Munnerlyn you stupid son of a bitch! f**k you you worthless piece of sh**!

This is Obama's fault

Ron Rivera better turn this around quick. Embarrassing is the only word that comes to mind.

f*ck me, munnerlyn!

Great. Now our terrible and tired D has to go back out on the field.

I hate Captain Munnerlyn. That fool is terrible at football.

what in the goddamn fuck is going on?

LOL at this team.

welp time to play skyrim

straughter ran into munnerlyn. that is bull crap

Fire Rivera, Fire Hurney !!!!

It's going to be a long season. Our D is comically bad.

the Defense reminds me of a chocoate dipped vanilla cone from Dairy Queen.

whats with the herp derp play calls from the bucs.. our secondary sucks on play action .. exploit it you retards xD

Game going exactly as expected without JStew AND SHOCKEY.

You expect us to lose by 40 because the backup RB and TE are out?

Investing $100 Million in Running Backs, per genius.

Hurney is GM of the Decade

time to put in Armanti Edwards, show us how valuable that #33 pick invested in Edwards was Hurney!

this is honestly the easiest game on paper on our schedule. I'm scared if we can't get it together

Your really underrating Tampa's roster. It shouldn't surprise anyone this is a dog fight. I believe we'll win but I've been saying all week you guys were waaaaaaaay too arrogant.

terrible f**king play call. f**k you Chud!



Wish we had Tampas Defense


The knee jerk reactions going on are pathetic. Some of you knuckle heads needs to calm the f**k down

I wish Tampa would have hired Chud. We would be winning right now

Our offensive line is getting beat badly. Compared to the Bucs, they look like they are running in quicksand.

ladies and gentlemen, your starting tandem of NFL Cornerbacks. One guy has Wesley Johnson syndrome, and the other is just as confused and lackadaisical.


Wal-Mart refs just fucked us. SMH

I just punched a random baby in the mouth

We're making this shitty team look like world beaters.

We gotta get off them off the field here and Chud needs to yank his head out of his ass and quit calling that slow developing bullshit.

wtf is wrong with blount, that looked like a Rick Flair fall down

the good news is we will have a high draft pick to again for Hurney to screw up

Defense sucks so much dick.

for the love of God if these retarded refs don't start calling holding I'm going to go absolutely crazy and start breaking everything in my path

I'm gonna get flamed for this, but this is another 6-10 season. This defense looks like a pile of $hit and the Offense is a joke so far.

Haven't they figured out that being a qb is pretty easy when you have time to run to the sidelines and impregnate half the cheerleaders before pressure gets there.

Glad our plan to fix the secondary is a rookie from coastal Carolina.

That game was a fuging embarrassment. I'm hoping some Cammy Cam juice can get the bad taste out of my mouth tomorrow.

Don't worry you guys....I beat the Bucs in Madden 13 career mode 24-10.....that means something right?....

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