NFL Picks Week 14 - DLT's Deadlocks

Oh, is this how THIS feels, Timmy? - Elsa

DLT comes crashing back down to earth in his pick segment. Can he recover this week?

Oh ye fickle Football Gods. I got a little full of myself, for sure. Thinking I was the King of pigskin prognostication and all that. I laughed in the face of the Gods, believing I had surpassed their tricks and tomfoolery.

Friends, consider me level-set.

Not only did I endure a miserable 9-7 week but my fantasy team completed it's Raheem-like death spiral out of the playoffs. No, the Supreme Daleks (look it up, jocks) will not be playing for a championship this year and I am definitely no Jimmy the Greek (look it up, young uns).

After my big heapin' helpin' of humble pie, I'll reflect on my disappointing season and hope to rebound this week.

Oh my gods...I just realized - I'm MARK SANCHEZ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Then again, having his money and GQ looks wouldn't be half bad, but I digress.

Anyway, since I'm doing my own reflecting on where it all went wrong, let's look at this year's most disappointing for each NFL team as we wade through the cess pool known as my pick selections for Week 14.

By the by, an editors note: it seems the rest of my competitors have put that tie between the Rams and 49ers a few weeks back in the loss column of their picks - I mean, technically it's true - no one forecasted a tie in that game unless they have Marty McFly's book of sports results. I will comply with the prevailing standard.

Last Week: 9-7 Upset Special: 0 for 1

Season: 113-80 58% Upset Specials: 8-27 23%

Thursday Night

Broncos 40, Raiders 3 - The Donkeys have to be a bit disappointed that their running game hasn't been very effective this season while the Raiders I'd say are disappointed with everyone on the roster and coaching staff. Except Marcel Reece...he's beast.

Sunday

Ravens 30, Redskins 24 - The Ravens are disappointed in their battered defense while the Redskins also are disappointed about the defense. Come to think of it, I think I lowballed the score at 23-13. Revising.

Bengals 23, Cowboys 13 - I'm not a big fan of the Cowboys - I don't think they're a very good team and that they're propped up as one by the media. With that, the Cowboys have disappointed the media in all facets of their game. Cincinnati has to be disappointed in their mid-season swoon that included losses to Cleveland and Miami.

Rams 16, Bills 13 - The Bills have to be disappointed they didn't take the next step this season. The Rams are disappointed Sam Bradford hasn't lived up to the billing as of yet. 22nd ranked QB in the NFL for the former number one overall pick of the 2010 draft?

Buccaneers 31, Eagles 10 - The Buccaneers are disappointed they let so many close games slip away. The Eagles are disappointed that none of their players lived up to the hype.

Falcons 24, Panthers 13 - The Falcons are disappointed they may go 15-1 and still no one will believe their legit. Carolina has to be disappointed in Cam. Like me, he got too big for his britches and had to be level-set by the rest of the NFL.

Browns 24, Chiefs 13 - The Browns have to be disappointed they keep screwing up their draft position with this winning thing. The Chiefs...I think we all understand the answer to the question there.

Steelers 20, Chargers 17 - The Steelers have to be disappointed that Ben is hurt. San Diego is disappointed they didn't fire Norv LAST SEASON.

Colts 26, Titans 13 - The Colts are disappointed they managed to lose to Jets and Jacksonville in the same season. Tennessee is disappointed that their defense has evaporated.

Jets 10, Jaguars 7 - I'm disappointed anyone has to watch this game. Jets - Sanchez. Jacksonville - Tebow. As in he's not playing there and he won't be playing this week for New York....or will he?

Upset Special: Vikings 23, Bears 13 - The Vikes are disappointed Christian Ponder hasn't developed as rapidly as some other young NFL QBs. The Bears are disappointed that injuries could take their toll again this season.

49ers 20, Dolphins 10 - The 49ers have to be disappointed they've gotten themselves into a quarterback controversy. The Dolphins are disappointed that they have few playmakers on their offense.

Seahawks 24, Cardinals 13 - The Seahawks are disappointed they likely have to go the rest of the season without their two starting CBs. The Cardinals are disappointed they spent a lot of money and still have no quarterback.

Giants 26, Saints 21G - The G-men are disappointed that they're not better than 7-5. The Saints are disappointed their 0-4 start put them behind the eight ball.

Sunday Night

Packers 26, Lions 20 - The Pack are still disappointed the Scab Refs stole a game and have them fighting for a division title. The Lions are disappointed they couldn't sustain their success from 2011.

Monday Night

Texans 26, Patriots 20 - The Texans are disappointed the Colts won't go away and the Patriots are disappointed that their pass defense is still abysmal.

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