It sucks. I procrastinated with my picks this week, didn't do any kind of research (yes, I do research, jerks) and I come into this pick segment woefully ill prepared. It's the Mayans fault. I blew off my articles for the week fully expecting the world to end this morning. I can't tell you how disappointed I am that the apocalypse didn't come because now I have to embarrass myself further in my picks segment.

I skated through with a woeful 9-7 record this week (thank you Mark Sanchez) so like Josh Freeman and the Bucs - I had a slow start, a strong middle and a really crappy end to the season.

Hopefully it will get better this week.

So - what's our theme this week? Hell, I don't know. Like I said - world. end. no preparey catchy pick stuff. I think we'll just go straight hard hitting analysis and prognostication this week.

Naaah, who am I kidding? Without my substandard humor I'm just a terrible picker.

I'm sure I can come up with something on the fly.

Let's see...

Last Week: 9-7 56%

Season: 132-93 59% Upset Specials: 9-27 25%

Saturday Night

Falcons 30, Lions 13 - The Falcons finally got their "signature win". Typically for them, it came during the regular season. The Lions? Yeesh.

Sunday

Panthers 26, Raiders 16 - It looks like Cam and the Pitties are making a run at keeping Ron Rivera around for one more year. In my best Mr. Burns voice....EXXXCELLENT.

Dolphins 20, Bills 10 - Miami looks like they have a pulse. Bills look like they belong in Los Angeles.

Steelers 30, Bengals 20 - Pittsburgh season hangs in the balance against Cincy. I'm sorry - between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati - who do I trust? I'll always go with the Steelers and Big Ben.

Patriots 45, Jaguars 10 - There's one team in the NFL that needs Tim Tebow - and that's Jacksonville. Only the power of Christ could save this bunch.

Colts 26, Chiefs 20 - Andrew Luck may win rookie of the year even if throws for more interceptions than touchdowns. That tells you how bad the Dolts were last season.

Upset Special: Saints 30, Cowboys 14 - Drew Brees and company took it to Tampa Bay last week and it looks like they're ready to screw up somebody's playoff hopes. Hello, Jerry.

Redskins 26, Eagles 13 - It's just not fair that the Redskins go from no quarterback to ridiculously rich in quarterbacks in one off-season. There's at least eight teams in the league Kirk Cousins could start for now, today. And they'll be one on the other sideline this week.

Rams 27, Buccaneers 13 - I don't think I'm picking the Bucs again after that woeful display last week. Suddenly, all that "led in every game and never lost a game by more than one score stuff" goes by the wayside when you give up a forty burger AND are shut out by one of the dregs of the NFL. Yes Saints fan, your team sucks. Just not as bad as Tampa Bay.

Chargers 30, Jets 3 - After the Chargers destroy New York and what's his name - do you think they go back to Sanchez or finally give Tebow a shot?

Packers 30, Titans 10- Living in Green Bay in December must feel like the end of the world - or at least the ice age.

Texans 30, Vikings 16 - Well, it was nice for Minnesota to be in playoff position for at least a week.

Broncos 40, Browns 10 - Can Peyton make it to the end of the year? Considering the Browns likely won't touch him - sure, why not?

Bears 26, Cardinals 10 - If the Bears can't beat Arizona, then Lovie really should start worrying about his job security.

Giants 27, Ravens 20 - Which team has slumped worse?

Sunday Night

49ers 30, Seahawks 27 - Seattle steps up in class a bit with the 49ers, who were thrashing the Patriots before nearly getting "Eli'd" by Brady. No Fifty-burger for the Seahags this week.