It's hard to be this good. I get up in the morning just like you...my loyal subjects...and put one pantaloon on at a time, just as you do.
Yet here we are on yet another stellar week of prognostication by me. 13-3 and 2 out of 4 on my upset specials. It would have been 14-2 and 3 of 4 if Josh Freeman could complete a freaking pass to a wide open receiver in the end zone! Off with his head!
I am also 25-5 (83%) in my last two week, 44-13-1 since Week 10 (77%).
Anyway, since I have been feeling like royalty of late, I feel it's time to bestow upon you my seer's knowledge. I will also offer my kingly decree for each NFL team.
(Eat your heart out Nostradumbass)
Last Week: 13-3 81% Upset Special: 2 of 4 (50%)
Season: 104-71-1 59% Upset Specials: 8-25 (24%)
Falcons 30, Saints 20 - For Atlanta, I decree a single playoff win should be theirs - just to get the monkey off their backs while for the Saints, I decree that Drew Brees shall again go to the Pro Bowl. Huzzah!
Bears 23, Seahawks 13 - For Chicago, I decree a healthy Jay Cutler will win them the NFC Nigh...er North. As for ye olde Seahags, I decree that you shall not pass...into the playoffs if you cannot win on the road.
Patriots 26, Dolphins 3 - I decree for the Patriots that Aquib Talib shall not enter the Tower (jail) or be racked (suspended). I also decree that the Dolphins fictional sell out streak will actually be real this week - with Patriot fans.
Colts 23, Lions 13 - I decree that because Indy has been so "Lucky" with their QB situation, they should be punished by having no offensive line to protect him. I decree that the Lions should be tamed and neutered.
Panthers 23, Chiefs 13 - I decree that Carolina will continue to injure their draft status by winning meaningless games. I decree that Kansas City will "earn" its way to the number one over pick in the 2013 NFL Draft.
49ers 30, Rams 20 - I decree that the 49ers will pay for their mistreatment of Alex Smith - just not this week. I decree the Scams shall finally give up on the idea Sam Bradford is an elite quarterback.
Jets 20, Cardinals 13 - I decree that for one single week, the dysfunctional Jets will make Fireman Ed rethink his decision to quit on his team. I decree the Cardinals will be one of the teams looking for a new coach.
Cowboys 30, Eagles 13 - I decree Cowboy fans will be overly excited to see their team take over the final playoff spot in the NFC - only to be disappointed that they won't be there in the end. I decree the Eagles shall put Andy Reid out of his misery.
NY Giants 26, Washington 13 - I decree that the Giants continue their late season surge. I also decree that the Mike Shannahan can finally be proven right - the season is dead.