FanPost

Unbelievable! Some candidates that are being overlooked


Marty was the choice in the poll overwhelmingly.

So why not these other guys?

DAN REEVES

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He's Marty but actually a winner. Born in Rome, this Georgian will bring a southern flavor and good ole boy work ethic to instill in the youngry players. He can relate, especially to Talib.

MARV LEVY

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Well into his 80s, its time for Marv to be in Florida with all the other snowbirds, Why not coach them Bucs up while he is at it?

BILL PARCELLS

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Dude knows how to win Superbowls, especially in Tampa. Make sure you give this 'head chef' all the responsibility to fill up his 'kitchen' with whatever he needs. Twinkies, baconators, mexican pizzas, etc...

Lastly, a darkhorse emerges

JOE PATERNO

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Her certainly has free time now that he gracefully step away from Penn St at the appropriate time. Entering middle age, Joe should step up to the big leagues and prove in the NFL that he is truly a master. Sadly some allegations have arisen and people are not happy like one local columnist:

I'm always glad to have the opportunity to speak openly, without fear of Joe Paterno twisting my words in a high-handed attempt to interfere with my efforts to communicate and teach. Perhaps before going on, I should describe Joe to you. Joe is scornful, indelicate, and irascible. Furthermore, he yearns to organize a whispering campaign against me. How dare he undermine serious institutional and economic analyses and replace them with a diverting soap opera of immoral conspiracies? Having endured countless hours of listening to his blockish gibber, I can say with confidence that Joe is doing everything in his power to make me run around like a chicken with its head cut off. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. Even his slaves are afraid that he will brandish the word "superphlogistication" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the fatuous hands of grungy, obstinate stumblebums some day. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that Joe's communications are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive—even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Joe is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul.

I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how some people insist that unyielding rigidity is just as much a threat to the continuity of things as vicious, filthy radicalism. Others feel that Joe should be locked up. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Joe is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his ethics. Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Joe a chance to bamboozle people into believing that his long-term goals are intelligent, commonsensical, and entirely consonant with the views of ordinary people. When uttered by him, the word "global", as in "global spread of officialism", implies, "It's not my fault". In reality, we'd unmistakably have a lot less officialism if Joe would just stop infiltrating and then dominating and controlling the mass media.

For future reference, my general thesis is that in asserting that his mistakes are always someone else's fault, Joe demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: He denies that he has been dismantling the guard rails that protect society from the biggety elements in its midst. His denials clearly contradict reports from eyewitnesses who saw him scuppering my initiative to disseminate as widely as possible all of the information we have regarding his mawkish, vindictive quips. I'd like to see Joe spin his way out of that one. He believes that once he has approved of something it can't possibly be featherbrained. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Joe and his cynical squadristi. Finally, any one of the points I made in this letter could be turned into a complete research paper, but the conclusion of each would be the same: It distresses me deeply that Joe Paterno's manipulative chums can cast votes that count just as much as mine.


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