OFFSEASON "MOVES" FOR BUCCANEERS FANS

Wow, with no Monday Night Football, we’ve been tuning into the Bachelor on Monday evenings in the Bucsfandave household……Ooops. Did I just say that out loud? All right, you got me, I’m a sucker for dating shows. However, since our fan base skews to the younger crowd, I figured I’d provide some dating tips for Buccaneers fans this winter. Maybe this will lead to a girlfriend/boyfriend for some of you during the spring. I asked BucWild for some dating statistics, and he quickly hit the Dating Outsiders website. Apparently, Buccaneers fans have a below average HUPLA (Hook Ups Per Liaison Attempted). Further analysis reveals an above average HUPLAAFBH (Hook Ups Per Liaison Attempted Adjusted For Babe Hotness), which is nice.

So, with room for improvement, I offer you ten Buccaneer dating do’s and ten don’ts, after the jump….

 

DON’T….

…punch the cab driver for no reason on the ride home (if you have a good reason, by all means, lay that bastard out).

…drop your drink when she hands you one (also called pulling a Clayton).

….tell her she’s a late round steal (all women feel like they are high first rounders).

…mention that you are anticipating a work stoppage in 2011 (no work…no play).

…try to chest bump her after a great conversation.

…tell her you are a fan of Trueblood (unless you are referring to the racy HBO Vampire show).

…tell her you like to pound the rock.

…tell her you would like to run the spread.

…bring the bag of powder you found in Tanard Jackson’s locker.

…fake a punt on fourth down, down by three, on the road (wait, that goes on another list).

 

DO……

…coordinate your own date (if your friend Jags wants to design some moves, just fire him 10 days before your date).

…wear an afro wig and a Josh Freeman jersey (chicks will love your "poise").

…try to remain as far under your salary cap as you can (in these recessionary times, frugality is cool).

…lots of offseason conditioning to stay game ready.

…run the Cover 2 when trying to meet girls at a party (hang by the keg or the drink table and chat up any stragglers).

…continue to pound the rock.

…ask her if she is a fan of the wishbone.

…tell her that you would like a long term deal to avoid hitting the free agent market (this could be on the DON’T list depending on your perspective concerning marriage).

…make sure to cover the tight end (sorry, that’s a cheap one and I couldn’t resist).

…have fun and stay positive about next year….everyone loves an optimist!

I hope that helps out there, young, single Bucs fans. Following those tips is sure to help you improve your HUPLA! Have a great weekend.

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